Confused In The Dark Way

In the middle of the night, I just sit in front of my PC, without knowing what am I supposed to do. I am confuse about what I should do to reach what I am. Confuse with all the matters in my life, all the thing was happen and I do no know why this could be happen in right now, in my life. I ask why, I ask how, I ask what, and many question I have but none of them could be answered. Confuse in almost every day, confuse about what I should do to start my life, because I really want my life back like old time but I know the old time would never came back. Yeah…I know it.

I realize that now my time has just begun, with all consequences of my decision, I know it will not be easy to start first step like old time. Yeah…I really know it and I really realize, but give me a clue what should I do? I do not want to be like this for the rest of life, I am just ordinary person, with all my guilty in the past and present. Why that clue has not appear in my front, or that clue has appear but I can not see what it is? Oh GOD, you’re the light of my heart, GOD will guide me in the dark way, I really need something to change my life like people do.

I want to get sleep but my eyes would not closed, my head have a headache, and my body was not well. I need take a rest, yeah I think I really need to take a rest, to stay away from stupid action that would risk my life. Soon, when I opened my eyes, I hope the clue will be appear in front of me, and GOD will guide me to pass this exam on my life, and I want to get into my end of journey of my life.